目前日期文章:201311 (2)

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夫妻之間的狠笑話 jokes between husband & wife夫妻之間的狠笑話 jokes between husband & wife       (一)  住口If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?如果你的狗在後門吠,而你的妻子在前門大喊大叫,你會讓那一個先進來?The Dog of course...at least he ll shut up after you let him in!當然是狗,至少它進來後會住口。        (二) 三個孩子,A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.一對夫婦有三個孩子。有兩個特別聰明和英俊,可是第三個孩子卻很醜很笨。One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, tell me the 花店truth, dear.   Is this third child really mine?一天,丈夫很懷疑地問:『坦白說,親愛的,老三真的是我的孩子嗎?』Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not.『是的,親愛的。"是妻子答道:"子可是另外兩個不是。』          (三) 妻子的三項優點When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities she is aneconomist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.一位單身漢新婚時,妻子有三項優點:在廚房她是經濟學者、在客廳她是貴族、在床上她是惡魔。After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.若干年後,這關鍵字三項優點依然存在,可是秩序有點變動:在廚房她是貴族、在客廳她是惡魔、在床上她是經濟學者。         (四) 許願井A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.一對夫妻來到一座許願井。丈夫靠過去,丟下一個硬幣,許了個願。The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much,fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a whilebut then smiled and said, It really works!妻子也打算許個願。可是她靠的太過去,掉下井,被淹死了。丈夫呆了一回,然後笑著說:『真靈驗。』         (五)結婚周年I asked my wife, Where do you want to go on our anniversary?我問太太:『結婚周年紀念,你想去網站優化那兒?』She said, Somewhere I have never been!她說:『那兒都好,只要是我沒去過的地方。』I told her, How about the kitchen?我說:『廚房怎麼樣?』         (六) 快樂時光During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?在二十五周年紀念時,一位太太提醒她的丈夫:『你還記得你向我求婚的那天,我被打動得無法說話長達一小時?』The hubby replied : Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.丈夫回答:『是的,親愛的,那是我一生中最快樂的時光。』        (七)手拉手We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.我們時常都手拉手。如果放開,她就會去購物了酒店經紀....

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佛經精華摘錄《211》佛經精華摘錄《211》 《智度論》 ◎犯人婦女者,被夫或鄰人知,臨時獲殃,刀杖所加,傷身,斷首足;或為王法所捕,著獄被重刑msata。先被獄火所燒,再生為人,亦亂閨門,遠善法,常懷恐怖而不安。佛說偈言:淫為不淨行,迷惑失正道,傷命而早死,受罪為頑癡,死復墮惡道,此故勿usb亂淫。佛說邪淫有十罪:何等為十,一者己夫或妻所被危害,二者夫婦不睦,而常鬥諍,三者諸不善法日增長,善法日減滅,四者身不護而妻子孤寡,五者usb財產日耗,六者有諸惡事,常為人疑,七者親族知識,所不受善,八者受怨,種業因緣,九者命終入地獄,十者來世為人,女則與他眾女人被一夫所使,男餐飲設備則妻不貞潔。  

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